So, you’re losing your sh*t with your kids. You scream, you shout, you snap at them. You’re cranky and irritable more often than you’d like to admit. You know how you want to parent; you want to be a calmer, more rational and intentional parent, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t help it. You keep losing your sh*t. Just remember: YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT. How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids is as honest and compassionate as it is pragmatic about helping you work through your sht to be a more present and positive parent. Increasingly relevant to today’s parents, who are more overloaded, overwhelmed, and overworked than ever before, Carla Naumburg has the antidote to the feelings of complete despair and rage.
How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids is a simple, accessible and humorous guide to more effective and mindful parenting.
Since we entered lockdown Spike’s behaviour has been difficult. We clash, a lot, and it got to me in a big way. I wanted to see if there was anything out there that would help me understand why she was behaving the way she was. And anything that would help me understand how to react better to it. I’m not into the whole gentle parenting thing because it just doesn’t work for me. A lot of the gentle parenting books out there suggest that more time, and more control given to your child helps their behaviour but in my experience that just results in us doing nothing other than what Spike wants to do and me being miserable.
I came across this and to be honest, it was purely the title that made me look at it. I was losing my sh*t, regularly, with Spike and I wanted to stop. It spoke directly at me and I thought it would be an honest approach more in line with my way of thinking. I was totally right.
Carla Naumburg goes through the exact reasons why we ‘lose our shit’. She outlines what is wrong. And, spoiler, its nothing to do with you, or your child. She talks about the way the brain works for both adults and children and helps you understand the differences. The whole book is about the buttons that get pushed and the reasons why our children push them. Plus all the other things that trigger us and as a result make us lose it. And its brilliant.
It has made me question why I’m losing it before I do. And why Spike might be behaving in a way I don’t think is acceptable. It’s made me aware of the issues surrounding our life and made me realise that while I can’t change some things – I can change my attitude towards them.
This is the least judgemental book I’ve written aimed at parents and I think thats why I enjoyed it. Carla Naumburg doesn’t claim to end all arguments. She doesn’t claim to be able to stop you losing your sh*t every single time. But she gives you the reasons for it, and ways of managing so that it doesn’t happen as often. And since I’ve read it I can definitely say what she goes you works.
Of course, my own and Spike’s shit losing has a lot to do with lockdown and stubbornness.. But at least I can see that now and can usually stop it completely hitting the fan!
I definitely recommend this book if you find yourself shouting more than you want. We’re not perfect, no one is. But we can fix up some of our weaknesses.
How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: Effective strategies for stressed out parents was published by Yellow Kite in September 2019. My copy was purchased online.