Fortunately, the Milk – Neil Gaiman

“There was only orange juice in the fridge. Nothing else that you could put on your cereal, unless you think that ketchup or mayonnaise or pickle juice would be nice on your Toastios, which I do not, and neither does my little sister, although she has eaten some pretty weird things in her day, like mushrooms in chocolate*

*She did not actually like eating them. And I had not actually told her that there were mushrooms inside the chocolate. It was an experiment.”

Mum’s away. Dads in charge. And there’s no milk. Fortunately, Dad is going out to get some. But from the minute the milk is in his hands and he’s on the way home, weird things start happening. Things that include being abducted by aliens, meeting a time travelling stegosaurus and swash-buckling pirates, and thats all before the vierd wompires and the intergalactic dinosaur police! There’s a lot that dad has to contend with before he can get the milk home to the kids… but fortunately, the milk will arrive at some point in the near future, or the distant past, or something like that. 

***
Never have I ever read a book that made me laugh with joy the entire way through like this before. Fortunately, the Milk is the work of a genius and is absolutely insanely brilliant and is more than worth a read. 
The story is fantastic. Essentially as an adult reading it you KNOW that dad has been waylaid by his mate at the corner shop and when he turns up home he is making up a story for the kids about why he has been so long… I mean, it has to be that right? Because time travelling stegosauruses and intergalactic dinosaur police on space bikes don’t exist, neither do wompires and green, globby, grumpy aliens. However reading this you could believe, Fortunately, the Milk gives you the belief that these things are there, they exist and the dad in this story did see all of these things, and live to tell the tale! 
The characters are fantastic and I loved that they were all brought to life by Chris Riddell so perfectly. I want a dinosaur on a space bike so badly you cannot understand. He or She would fit in with my collection of dinosaurs perfectly and I can’t think of anything better! I loved the revelation about Professor Steg towards the end and that there was a Queen of the Pirates, the wompires were brilliant and the looked exactly how I expected them to look. The way the pictures interacted with the words was really cool too, like when the dad was falling out of the alien spaceship and the words went falling with him! 

I absolutely loved the way that ‘fortunately’ and ‘unfortunately’ something kept happening to the milk within the text, that it was always, always present, or not, in someway. The whole focus of the book is about the milk and thats one of the things that makes it feel like the whole story wasn’t just a story, that it happened. The interruptions from the kids remind us that the events are a tale told by the dad when returning with the milk too and I adored the ending too, it was perfect for the way the book was written, though I don’t want to spoil it so I’ll say no more! 
I don’t think there was anything I didn’t love about this book, its ridiculous, its crazy and its fantastic. It is the silliest book I’ve read in a long time but it is perfect for kids and adults alike. I know teenagers will turn their nose up at it but even they will pretty much love it. I can’t imagine anyone reading this book and not loving it, unless they are really boring and strict, and lets face it we don’t want to love the same things as those people do we? I think everyone needs a Professor Steg in their lives and a green globby grumpy alien to run away from. Lets face it; life isn’t complete without adventures like this! 
Fortunately, the Milk will be published on September 17th by Bloomsbury Kids books. My copy was sent to me from the publisher in exchange for a toast of milk. 
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